sunflowering | Character Inbox

[he takes it, and then pulls her into his arms, hugging her]

[ Mm. It's an easy feeling to adjust to. Pressed against the warmth of his chest. Her senses aren't as strong as back home, but certainly, like this, she can both feel and hear the beat of his heart, his scent just as tantalizing as ever.

Smiling against him, she closes her eyes, her own arms coming to grasp hold of his outer clothes...and tightening. ]

Somehow, when I'm with you... you blow all the bad feelings away.

I feel the same when I am with you. In your arms, I feel... at peace.

[ . . . Staying snuggled close for the moment.]

Did Zero tell you at all...? About...today?

No... he didn't say anything to me. I think perhaps we have a strained relationship... I am not sure how to mend it, as it is.

[pets her hair]

Do you want to talk about what happened?

He's very stoic. I'm sure that he cares about you too.

[ If he was able to be as close to him as she is, she's sure he'd be won over almost immediately. She nods against him, though.]

I think... I want to talk to you because I think you might understand my feelings a little more. But it's... it may be due to a sad similarity between us.

What do you mean...?

. . . Possessing feelings for someone, even when that person hurts you, and even when everyone else... says it is wrong.

[ah. he lowers his eyes]

...

Tell me?

I had a bad memory today. With Kaname.

[ He had met him...right? That time when those other units were here. She can't remember because everything is a whirl, but she's pretty sure he met him. ]

It's my second one. Though in the past... Zero had a really bad one involving him too.

[ His memory, really... is what makes her own feelings all the more loathsome. ]

I... I'm too embarrassed to try and explain it. I don't know how to put it into words. If I say 'I was being punished,' it automatically paints him as a bad guy. If I show you the memories, then you'll be upset too.

[ She's rambling. She has no idea where to start or how to even explain the mess that is her heart. ]

. . . He wanted to show me how useless it was to try. How...weak I am. I'm a terrible fiancee, no good-- I'm useless and even when I try my hardest, it all comes down to nothing.

Those... are the sorts of things that have been said between some of these last memories.

[ She swallows ]

And not all of it is false. I am a terrible fiancee. But... but putting that aside, I feel shaken. It's like his heart is lost inside a terribly deep forest and he can't see any light. And because he can't, the only things he can seem to mutter are full of loneliness and despair.

. . . Even though I'm right here too. And even though my heart hurts... like a bunch of stakes are being driven through to the core, I can't shake how I feel either. Because I... because I love him, too. I have always thought that...were he to fall to the deepest depths, then it would be okay. Because I would fall with him.

But everything... it's all mixed up. And it gets worse, which is why... I can't face Zero right now. I can't face him or Ren.

[quiet as he listens, though his brow furrows deeply. for a few moments after she finishes, he doesn't say anything]

...

It's because you love him... that you cannot hate him for what he did to you.

[ Nods ]

I love him. I love him so much that sometimes it feels like he's filling my head entirely and taking over every cell within my body. Like it's impossible to think past him.

[running his fingers through her hair]

You must know... that if you were to fall with him, you would never be able to pull him back up. No one would be able to pull you up, either. The fog he is lost in... it consumes men. It turns their hearts black.

If I could, I would steal his heart for you. So that you can break the chains that bind you both.

[ . . . It's true. And she knows that his words ring true. It just doesn't make it any easier.]

The castles... you spoke about before.

[ She remembers him telling her about them. She's seen them too, in his memories. ]

I wonder if that sort of thing would be possible. Once leaving this place, or having wishes granted...

... perhaps. Someone like your fiance... I can easily imagine him becoming a target for the Phantom Thieves. Especially when you are so dear to me.

[takes one of her hands and brings it to his lips, kissing it]

But... no matter what, you know you cannot endure that with your head bowed like a good girl. It will destroy you eventually. For your sake... and yes, for his sake too--you must not let that happen. There is no changing the past, but you will never have to suffer alone like that here. Even if it is painful... promise me, you will still get up.

I'm unloading on you like this...

[ She smiles faintly at him. It's a little sad, but...grateful, too. ]

I don't want to be a person who just gives up. Sometimes... I feel useless or incapable like he said. I remember things I haven't done well with at home, or... in particular, that house here...

[ There's no real need to specify what she means. The whole unit knew how poorly she had done in that game. ]

To become a stronger person-- that's what I want to do. One that can protect the people I hold most dear in my heart, like Fox and Zero... Taisho, Ren... this is the sort of thing that matters to me.

I know that in order to do that... I need to do like you say.

[ Looking up at him, gently reaching out to touch one of his cheeks. ]

It is hard though. Shutting off that voice inside your head that is always against you. Those negative feelings well up sometimes. What do you do when that happens?

[he closes his eyes for a moment, leaning into her touch]

... once upon a time... I would have let those feelings consume me until I felt like I was poisoning myself. When I felt like I had no way out... I did sometimes think... of ending it all. Just to escape. I do not think I truly wanted to die, I just... wanted a way out of feeling so trapped and alone.

That was around the time I met Ann--North, that is, and Joker, and the others. They saved me--no, they gave me the tools to save myself. And so I was able to climb out of that pit, and save both myself and Sensei.

Yusuke...

[ Her heart feels heavy. This beautiful, truly gentle soul... he certainly should never have had to suffer like that. She's so grateful to both Joker and Ann... for helping protect him, and reaching out a hand in a way that helped him stand back up again.

He's strong... and incredibly brave.]

I'm thankful, then. If I didn't have you here... if I had never met you, then my life would be missing something absolutely precious to me. I'm so happy to have you as an important person in my life. I treasure your words and comfort and the beautiful aura you emanate wherever you go.

[ Cupping his cheeks ]

I love you, Yusuke. You know that, right? And it's not just me. There are so many others who feel the same way. You're incredibly dear.

[he gives her a gentle smile]

I love you too, Yuuki. I'm so glad I was able to meet you. You are one of the people in my life who brighten it, make it shine so strongly I feel as though I am enveloped in your light.

[ She pushes him carefully backward, guiding him down so that she's straddling his hips. Leaning forward slightly, her long hair falls to either side of him. ]

Comparing a vampire to the light--

[ Isn't that the opposite of a normal comparison. It makes her happy though. Her wings stretch behind her, tail casually curling around one of his legs. ]

Even though I'm a creature of the night, that makes me want to work my hardest at living up to such high praise.

[his cheeks quickly turn pink as he lays back, gazing up at her adoringly, and when he feels her tail curl around his leg he bites his lip]

... do you... accept my feelings, then?

[ His eyes...those are one of his most captivating features. The earnest and plain feelings that he shares are always reflected in his eyes. Maybe that's why she loves them so much.

Smiling, she leans forward, lashes fanning her cheeks as her eyes close and she rests her forehead to his. ]

Mm.

[ A gentle sound. ]

If... if you are okay with a person like me, then... I accept and want to treasure your feelings. Your feelings are so very precious to me. And they... they make me indescribably happy, too.

[he closes his eyes for a moment, smiling]

I love you, Yuuki.

[ So very earnest. He's the most earnest. ]

. . . Can I--

Can I kiss you, then...?

I would like it very much if you did.

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cw suicidal ideation

Re: cw suicidal ideation

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